Is God Mad at Me Because I’m Gay?

Q: “Is God mad at me because I’m gay?” – 7×7 Conversations Student

A: One of the things that stands out to me when I read the Bible is God’s patience. Have you read Genesis or Judges? Humans are the worst, evermore inventing new ways of being cruel, dishonest, and ungrateful. As you read the Old Testament, it doesn’t matter what God does; people still screw things up in horrific ways.

To be sure, God does get angry. In the Old Testament, you see God judge nations and people for their wickedness, and if you were to only read those stories in isolation, you might think of God as some vengeful, impatient tyrant.

But if you read the Bible and allow the story to unfold without pulling stories and verses out of the narrative, God’s slowness to anger and his abounding mercy jumps off the pages (Ps 103:8). You might even find yourself questioning God’s grace, thinking he might have been too lenient on humanity. Seriously, go and read the story of Abraham’s family (it begins in Genesis chapter 12). They were messed up! Yet God delivered them from their mistakes, lack of faith, and even their evil intentions (Gen 50:20).

Whether God is mad at you, I don’t know. I’d rather suspect that his disposition toward you is merciful and compassionate. That seems to be his track record with us. God desires that all people come to know him and abide in his love by following his ways (John 15:1-11). And he is quite patient with us in this regard.

Now, I do think the Bible is clear regarding how humans are to flourish in their sexuality. God made men and women in his image and intended for them to become one flesh in marriage (Gen 1:27; 2:24). This is God’s design, and Jesus affirmed this view of marriage in Matthew 19. Sex outside of this relationship breaks God’s moral law and our fellowship with him, as does all sin.

Sin robs us of the abundant life that comes from abiding in Jesus. We were made to experience the joy that comes from living in line with God’s design. I suggest you view your sexuality in light of the joy you were made for more than God’s anger. But when you think of God’s anger, ask yourself, should God be angry at sin? Should a father be angry when he sees his children trying to find fulfillment in things that don’t truly satisfy? I think so. In fact, a God who did not get angry in this way would be a disinterested God, one who doesn’t care about us at all. God’s anger flows from his love. It is not mean or vindictive. It is holy and righteous.

So, I think the important question isn’t whether God is angry with you. It is whether you are willing to surrender every bit of your life to a holy God full of grace and forgiveness. Are you ready to offer all of yourself, including your sexuality, to a God who is slow to anger and abounding in mercy (Ps 86:15)? A life of joy awaits all who will.